Personal Development

I have a big tip for you today. Something I’ve used myself to greatly reduce any feelings of impostor syndrome.

Now I know there are plenty of tips around impostor syndrome and I’m sure you’ve seen them if you’ve been Googling ways to help you stop feeling like you’re holding yourself back because you don’t feel like you have any right to help others using your expertise.

One of the biggies that helped me though is not to listen but to truly HEAR the compliments you receive whether in a testimonial, in a message or as a comment on a social media post.

The tendency to brush those off is a big one but once we begin to push ourselves to truly read and absorb them we begin to realise that we DO have the right to use our expertise.

Take screenshots of them, save them in a folder called “Inspiration” or something else that’s meaningful to you and browse through that folder at least once a week!

When you jump into a puddle of poo, you get out and have poo stuck all over you. Lovely image eh! In the same way, when you jump into a folder of amazing and wonderful things being said about you, when you climb out of that folder it’s inevitable that a good portion of that positivity sucks to you, you listen to it, you hear it, you FEEL it.

And the thing is, it’s never too late to begin doing this. Go back a month or two (or even longer) and collect all those compliments. Most of us are on multiple social media platforms or we have email lists or we have feedback forms for clients. They are ALL a wonderful source of proof that you ARE amazing!

This has helped me and I know it can help you. If you need more help with mindset, confidence and all that lovely stuff, contact me and let’s see how we can work together.

Daz
The Self-Doubt Coach

I firmly believe that self-doubt has its roots in the world we live in.

We are surrounded by media, magazines etc that encourages you to compare yourself to “celebrities”. They focus on the negative and the failures of others, seeding thoughts telling us that we are destined to fail too.

This seeds the thoughts of self-doubt.

Why should we try something if we’re destined to fail eh? Look at those famous people, the rich people, they fail, so why wouldn’t I!

This then becomes our thought patterns and those thought energies radiate outwards from us like when you drop a pebble in a pond, the ripples radiate away from the point of impact. And people pick up on those energies whether they realise it or not. And so radiates negativity and doubt.

Don’t believe those energies exist? Have you ever been at a party and one person enters the room and immediately the mood of the room changes. People are picking up on the energy that one person is radiating!

Some people call this Law Of Attraction, some call it manifesting. What it is though is how our universe operates. Just like in our physical world we have gravity, thermal dynamics and all that wonderful stuff, in the universe we live in, we have thought that has no limits in distance, in time and in speed!

When we make changes to our thoughts, we begin to make changes to our life and our world. Self-doubt reduces, confidence increases, happiness increases and we think clearer and faster.

Want to know more? Explore this further?

Get in touch now and let’s get on a call to find the best way we can work together!

And don’t forget to grab my free Self-Doubt Companion here:
https://darrendanks.com/self-doubt-companion-signup

Daz
The Self-Doubt Coach

Picture the scene, you’re in your 9-5 job, you get up in the morning, get ready to go to work, and dread going in.

Each day you dislike going into work a little more.

You reach the point where you “hate that place”.

You want something more in your life, you want to be in control of your future, you feel deep down to your very core that you should be doing more.

Then you start looking into what needs to be done to achieve that future and doubt starts creeping in, the journey seems impossible.

“My job isn’t that bad after all”….. You start justifying all those mornings where you hate the thought of going into work.

You’re justifying your misery!

You can’t go on like this, it’s a route to Miseryville and Regret Town!

It’s time you changed, time you start working on your doubts and fears.

And here I am to help you, I’m The Self-Doubt Coach.

When we work together we find the right ways for you to smash those doubting thoughts and boost your confidence so you can begin creating that life you want.

First step? Grab my free Self-Doubt Companion using this link:
https://darrendanks.com/self-doubt-companion-signup

Second step? Contact me so we can jump on a call to figure out the best way we can work together.

Daz
The Self-Doubt Coach

And there was you thinking too much masturbation made you blind. That’s a myth though, just ask any red-blooded human. Although I do wear glasses….. damn! ??

There’s a line in Sherlock, “You look but you don’t see”, and this is particularly applicable when you doubt yourself.

What would normally be a simple mental jump to put situation A and situation B together to give solution C, when you have self-doubt, you may as well put situation A in one box and situation B in another box 100 miles away because you become blind to the connection to give that solution C.

If you’re doubting yourself, do you find this? Do you wonder why you can’t figure some things out?

It’s like the doubtful thoughts put on a disguise, sneaks into the intelligence office in the brain and starts pressing buttons and flicking switches to distract the brain. Like a funny scene from a movie!

This can grow and grow too, like rolling a tiny snowball down a hill, it gets bigger and faster, picking up all sorts of horrible stuff on the way.

When we do something out of the ordinary though, it can act like a distraction to the distraction. It stops that rolling ball of snow, bricks and poo mid-roll! It gives the brain just enough time to slide Mr Conscious Thinking into the office to take control back.

Think of the scene in Guardians of the Galaxy when Ronan is about to destroy the planet and Peter Quill (Starlord) begins dancing, it stops Ronan in his tracks and eventually Starlord explains that he’s “Distracting you yer big turd blossom”. Ronan is distracted for long enough to allow the guardians of the galaxy to get back in and start taking control.

Introducing those chances to disrupt can help massively!

This is something I do well and sometimes in a weird but funny way.

Want to take control of those self-doubt thoughts?

Want to take the blindfold off and see where you’re going?

Contact me now to get on a call!

Daz
The Self-Doubt Coach

What do you really want?

We’re told we should be aspiring for the fancy car, the mansion home, Gucci accessories and all that kind of stuff. But what do you REALLY want?

Are you falling for the almighty marketing machine telling you what you should want or do you have your own thoughts?

We all have our own world view, we all see the world, our surroundings and the events happening around us depending on our own experiences and beliefs. The problem is that we can also be massively influenced by the messages we are bombarded with every day from the media, the news and social media.

When we listen to all that crap we cease to be a Jedi with a mind of steel and become the janitor at the Jedi offices who has let himself go and possesses the mind of a weakling!

It’s time to rebel! Rebel against the conditioning, rebel against the programming and ask ourselves what we REALLY want!

Set your goals around what you truly want in your heart, not what you’re told you should want!

When we set unrealistic goals that aren’t linked to our heart, we set ourselves up for failure and that leads us to stress, sadness and at worst, depression.

“I want a Porsche!”…. but do you REALLY want that or is that what you think you should want?

“I want that Gucci handbag!”…. again, do you REALLY want it or do you want the name because you think it makes you look successful?

When we begin to set our true goals we become more focused in achieving them because we have that emotional connection with them.

So, stop buying into the BS and start listening to your true self!

You can have one of two mindsets, you can have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. But what are they?

The first one is the Fixed Mindset. The best way to describe this is to think about that family member we all have who is totally set in their ways. They do something one way only, their way, and have no desire to hear about any other way no matter how much better it is.

They also tend to shy away from things they see as difficult such as challenges, obstacles and effort. They also find it difficult to deal with criticism and negative feedback.

With the Fixed Mindset, people actually believe that they have always had that mindset, it will not change and they will always have that mindset. They believe you need natural talent to be successful in something.

The second is called the Growth Mindset. Imagine that person you know who thrive in challenges, always puts the effort in and always keeps going no matter what the obstacle.

People with the Growth Mindset believe that they can change with experience, effort and time. They believe their intelligence can be developed and improved with effort, learning and persistence.

So, which one do you think is needed for success in your life, career and business? If any of you say Fixed Mindset I’m going to come round and slap you with an angry trout!

If you want to learn more about there two mindsets, check out “Mindset” by Carol Dweck, it’s well worth reading!